ALRESFORD has been named as the UKÕs 43rd worst town in a new book which lists the 50 most undesirable places to live in the British Isles.
The pocket-sized book, entitled, The Idler MagazineÕs Book of Crap Towns: The 50 Worst Places to Live in the UK, has jumped straight into the top 200 on AmazonÕs internet pre-order list.
Rather than being a scientific evaluation of a townÕs merits and faults however, the book constitutes an unapologetically biased dig at the UKÕs less desirable settlements, and describes the leafy Hampshire beauty spot as ÒPurgatory with hanging basketsÓ.
In the bookÕs description of the town, it states: ÒDuring the day, gymkhana girls and rugby boys rule this rural backwater, but at night, hundreds of bored Gangsta Rap enthusiasts congregate outside the chemist on the High Street and threaten passers-by.
ÒAs with most middle-England enclaves, the only non-white residents work in Chinese and Indian restaurants. A few years ago, the local council finally relented after pressure from the inhabitants, and agreed to allow a fish and chip shop to open. The reason for their reluctance? ÔIt would lower the toneÕ.Ó
So what is it about Alresford that really makes DanÕs blood boil? He said: ÒI moved to Alresford when I was about six, and left when I was 21. Yes, Alresford is beautiful and it has gorgeous countryside, so it isnÕt awful in the same way as many other towns on the list. But there is also an odious pomposity about the place.
ÒIÕll give you an example. I went home about six months ago to see my dad who still lives in Alresford, and while I was back, I went to a local pub with a friend of mine. Within minutes of sitting down, a bloke I went to school with had picked a fight with us, because my mateÕs brother had looked at his girlfriend five years ago. That is exactly what the place is like.Ó
While recognising that the book has been written somewhat Òtongue in cheekÓ, New Alresford Town Council chairman John Hankin has defended Alresford by pointing out that as a teenager he probably had a similar view of the town he was brought up in.
ÒWhen I was young in Alresford I was of the opinion that nothing went on here, but having moved away and lived in other towns I have come to realise that to a certain degree a town is what you make of it. Nothing is perfect for teenagers.Ó
Pointing out that some two years ago Alresford emerged in a BBC South Today poll as Òthe most friendly town in the southÓ, Mr Hankin also observed that Òtimes changeÓ and that some of Dan KieranÕs observations were out of date.
ÒWe are trying to improve facilities for the young in the town. We are, for example, currently talking about a skateboard park and the Alresford Youth Association is doing a tremendous job for young teenagers. We would also like to improve facilities for the 14 to 17 year olds but nothing happens over night and we donÕt have the cash.
He added: ÒI am looking forward to reading the book - it sounds as if it will be great fun!Ó
The book is published by Pan Macmillan, and is available for £10.