A SURVIVOR of domestic abuse and a family whose daughter was murdered by her ex-partner helped Surrey Police and the Surrey Against Domestic Abuse Partnership launch a six-week focus on helping those in emotionally abusive and controlling relationships.

John and Penny Clough MBE told the audience at the ‘Behind Closed Doors’ event for local businesses about the tragic murder of their daughter Jane in 2010 at the hands of her ex-partner, following years of abuse. John and Penny appealed to the audience to think about whether this might be happening to someone they care about.

Domestic abuse survivor Fiona Bowman told of how her manager at her place of work saved her life by helping her re-locate to their London office, away from her violent and controlling husband.

Acting Deputy Chief Constable Gavin Stephens opened the conference. He urged attendees to be the force’s eyes and ears and look out for the devastating effects of domestic abuse in their places of work.

ADCC Stephens said: “Surrey Police are passionate about and committed to dealing with this despicable crime, supporting victims and families and prosecuting perpetrators.

“In support of this, the force’s current ‘Our Relationship is Give and Take’ campaign will encourage victims, friends and family and professionals to recognise the signs of a coercive or controlling relationship and give them the confidence to come forward.”

The conference also featured a hard-hitting drama performance by AlterEgo Creative Solutions, which centred on Anna, a smart charismatic young woman, and the distressing reality of her controlling and psychologically abusive relationship with her partner Jay.

Emotional and psychological abuse, or coercive control as it is known in law, covers a whole range of behaviours that lead to victims living under the total control of their partner.

These include using tactics of isolation, degradation and mind games; dictating what their victim can eat, wear, who they can speak to, if they can go out – every aspect of their lives comes under their partner’s control; and fear and intimidation.

The victim may not even realise they are being controlled as this way of life has gradually become the norm.

Detective Chief Superintendent Paul Furnell, head of public protection at Surrey Police, said: “My message to those who might be experiencing abuse at the hands of a loved one is to please come forward. If you don’t want to speak to the police, Surrey has fantastic specialist outreach services.

“You may be fearful of speaking out if you are in a controlling and coercive relationship but I’d like to reassure you there is a way of escaping and people who can help.”

To speak to someone call the Surrey’s domestic abuse helpline in complete confidence on 01483 776822, or go online at www.surreyagainstda.info/ for more information.