IF you've never seen a Bollywood movie, you might wonder if you've strayed on to the set of the Bombay Crossroads.

Fourteen Songs, Two Weddings and a Funeral, at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford, until tomorrow (Saturday) comes from the same stable as the hit, East is East.

Tamasha Theatre Company's award-winning production is an adaptation of the Bollywood blockbuster, Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!

That probably meant little to the majority of the Guildford audience. What it entails is star-crossed lovers, music and melodrama.

Should you laugh or should you take it as seriously as the millions in India who flock to the cinema? The answer is yes and no!

Voice projection is not the company's greatest strength and the speed with which the lines are delivered makes for a delayed reaction to the undoubted humour of the piece.

Adding to the sense of unreality is the musical score which is mimed to the original cast soundtrack. Very filmic, no doubt, but it does leave a little niggle that theatre, and that includes songs, should be performed live.

There's certainly some very lively calisthenic dancing with just a hint of graceful, Indian hand gestures.

The costumes are as bright and vivid as the Indian sun. Against dull British skies they would be gaudy, but against the brightly lit, Indian interiors, they are simply dazzling.

The characters, like the plot, are stock stuff; when you have a successful formula, stick to it is the Bollywood mantra.

The money-grabbing, battleship aunt, resplendent in purples, saffron and gold is dressed overall like some sub-continental Hyacinth Bucket.

A spoof, not only of Bollywood but of romance with a capital R, the show is long - in every sense - on love tangles and complicated by a very Asian sense of family duty.

But against such a rhythmic soundtrack, can there possibly be anything but a happy ending?

Even the stylised fall to death, the funeral of the title, drew applause that lasted longer than the period of mourning as the overriding pragmatism of the culture took hold.

An interesting adventure into a world of colourful cliché.

Sandy Baker